Let’s talk about body, baby!

Let’s talk about body, baby! Body image, that is. Since my last post, I have been on a roller coaster of emotions. Healing isn’t linear (even though we would like it to be), and it’s usually pretty messy (even though we would like it not to be). And let me tell you, I’ve had my moments of being a hot mess express. You identify a problem you would like to work on, you create a plan to tackle said problem, you begin to put in the work, life happens, you start to identify triggers, you try to learn how to proactively deal with said triggers, life happens again, self-care gets put on the back burner, you start to question everything, life continues to happen, you begin to realign priorities to get back on track, so on and so forth. Does any of that sound familiar? Would you believe me if I said that your body image could be effected by those things – even if they had nothing to do with how you view yourself?

And so begins my reflection period. As mentioned in my previous post, I identified that I had a problem. At the time, I thought my problem was the fact that I couldn’t lose weight no matter how hard I tried. And trust me, I tried! Like there were days that I would workout three times and only eat half a sandwich for lunch kind of tried. That’s supposed to work, right? Our society preaches and glorifies restriction and burning more calories than you consume. So… this had to work, right? Wrong. No matter what I did, my body didn’t budge. I was fed up and sought out help from a professional. Surely they can figure out what my body wants, so that I can FINALLY be comfortable in my own skin! Boyyyy did that first appointment throw me for a loop. I walked in expecting to be put on a plan to lose these unwanted pounds and walked out realizing that all this time I was suffering from an eating disorder. Everything I thought I knew was completely turned upside down once I found out I had Orthorexia. And for those that don’t know what Orthorexia is, it is an obsession with “wellness.” Please, refer to my last post for more information on what this looks like on me. The biggest cause for me having this eating disorder? You guessed it! Body image. And my body image is greatly influenced by outside factors that cause me stress – aka triggers. I’m going to guess that yours may be too. During periods of high stress, I struggle with my body image even more. And so, for me, dieting has always been something I would latch onto because it’s something I felt like I could control when everything else seemed to be chaotic around me. And let’s be honest here… life changes ALL THE TIME, and change is stressful. Plus, our society fosters systems that cause a lot of stress and/or mental health issues. So, it’s safe to say that there are no shortage on triggers – no matter how big or small.

Our society is CONSUMED by body image. In fact, the diet industry banks on our insecurities. Take a moment to think about all the different diets, exercise programs, weight loss supplements, etc that you’ve seen or heard about today alone. What do all of these marketing materials have in common? They will all say that you’ll be happier, confident, and more successful if you use their program. And when we’re at our lowest self-esteem points, we may just bite! Something has got to give, right? Everyone deserves to be happy, and all those models that are in those advertisements look like they are living their best life! So yeah, at some point, we will probably bite.

Now, I don’t regret my gym memberships at all. I was raised an athlete and my body likes to move. I love pushing the limits and seeing what else I’m capable of. However, I do regret the money I have spent on diet programs. I am a very frugal person, so impulsively spending money has never been a big issue for me. But, probably like many of you, I was at a low self-esteem point in life and I took that bite. Pun intended. That’s money I will never get back. That’s money I spent that I thought would help my body, but just ended up hurting it. We’ll touch on dieting effects in a later post. So yeah, diet industry, I’m looking at you and I’m holding a grudge.

Gyms, diet programs, and weight loss supplements aren’t all though! Let’s talk about the fashion industry. First of all, why has it taken THIS LONG to get a variety of bodies modeling clothes? Did they just now realize that more than one type of body exists in the world? Even if every person in the world ate the exact same thing and did the exact same movements, we would still NEVER look the same. When I was at my smallest (and unhealthiest), I still didn’t have a thigh gap. No matter what I do, my body won’t allow for that because I’m simply not built that way. So, in today’s world, my body would and will never be ideal. But, what does the fashion industry do? They design by those ideal body standards. And, of course, I can find those designs in my size. However, I will struggle to feel happy in what I’m wearing because I don’t look like the model wearing the exact same thing. We’ll talk about fashion and body types in a later, more empowering post though.

Dear friends, don’t lose faith! Society’s ideal body standards change all the time. And at one point in history, your body was the ideal body. It likely will be again. However, our goal here is to learn to love the body we live in. This is the only vessel we have carrying us through life, and just think of all the places it’s taken you and all the things it’s done! They’re truly extraordinary. No one has any right to tell you what feels good to your body. You know your body best. If eating a pizza fires up your cells, eat that pizza! If a crop top makes you feel confident, strut your stuff! If giving a fat (or skinny) shamer the middle finger makes you feel empowered, let it fly! But, just remember, healing is not linear. You’re going to have good days and you’re going to have bad days. Some days you’ll look in the mirror and love what you see and other days you might avoid seeing yourself all together. You’re not doing anything wrong; you’re healing. You’re healing from a broken system and learning to stake your own territory. Allow yourself the opportunity to love the body that gives you life. After all, it’s fighting for you.

P.S. I have some great bonus content for you! Take a moment to watch this video. I’m willing to bet you find someone that looks like you. 😉 Click here to checkout women’s ideal body types throughout history!

Until next time ❤️

-Sarah